The Fifty Shades of Steve Pulaski: Why I Wear Gray

To all those who thought my reason was because gray is my favorite color - this is for you.

"The closer gray gets to black, the more dramatic and mysterious it becomes. The closer it gets to silver or white, the more illuminating and lively it becomes." - Empower Yourself With Color Psychology.

"Gray up!" "Gray up for Steve!" "Gotta gray up." "Wearing gray like Steve." "Nobody wears gray like Steve." "I love the gray, Steve." These are just some of the things I've been hearing since sophomore year in high school about my wardrobe. Since 2010, my casual wardrobe has consisted of a light gray, microfiber t-shirt, a loose-fitting pair of sweatpants, varying from light to dark gray, and, most recently, my inclusion of a gray cardigan for added class (thanks to my buddy Matt Duenas).

I did it a couple times a week during freshman year, then fully converted to this casual gray style on a day-to-day basis sophomore year. It didn't take long to become a conversation topic, but it took longer for me to embrace it. Constantly I would get asked if I wore the same pair of clothes every day, why I did it, why I chose gray as the color, etc. I began to say I "gray up," just coining a cute name to my dress pattern. Junior year, I think I didn't wear gray five days out of the entire year because I had to attend leadership conferences with a band of people and was required to wear formal attire. I got the strangest looks from people, not used to seeing me in different apparel, and couldn't walk ten steps without hearing a remark about my change in style.

Everyone from casual acquaintances, classmates I see on a daily basis, teachers, and relatives make note of my grayness. When I won homecoming king, I had to wear my gray dress shirt to the ceremony, and even went to the traditional football game in my gray attire, so I was easily recognizable. I can't go a period in school without remarking about someone's gray clothes or mentioning mine in some way.

For Halloween 2013, I decided rather than a costume, I'd play with people's emotions. I wore a sky-blue polo along with dark blue scrub pants. Many people were shocked, and I almost couldn't walk into a room without people commenting on my apparel, which had changed overnight. Several just had to take pictures of my new style. The response was unbelievable. I created something of a phenomenon.

But I couldn't go a day without being asked something like, "is there a reason you wear gray every day?" "It's less remarkable than you think," I'd tell people. "The reason is pretty stupid," I'd tell people. But I'd never answer. I liked the ambiguity that I left with it. I love to be open, and I constantly tell people in explicit detail my thoughts on something, but this was a different beast. I wanted to leave it vague. I just thought that element was fun and provided people with something to question.

Since people wanted to know so badly, I announced randomly at the end of November that on March 10, 2014, I will release a blog stating why I wear gray. I began hyping it on social media and around my school (if people care so much, why not make it a bit of a thing?) I did it far enough away from the date for suspense to build and so that the day could make its way around school.



There is one reason I began wearing gray and two reasons I've stuck to gray as my color, so there's two separate parts to the often-asked question. The first reason why I began wearing gray was because of the little-known nineties film "Oh, What a Night," starring Corey Haim, a famous child actor, that I watched in 2010. The film centered around him, a quiet teenager who lived on a farm and longed for a relationship and company with an older woman. I've been told frequently that I look a bit like Haim because of his blonde hair and inherently innocent appearance. When my hair is short enough, I comb it back, remembering how he used to rock his hair in the eighties.

To get to the bottom of things, Haim's character, at one point, wore a gray shirt with a pocket and I thought by wearing a gray shirt, with my combed-back hair, I could look even more like him. "Mom," I said, "Let's go to Wal-Mart this weekend, I want to get a few gray pocket-tees." I realized soon after I wasn't a fan of the pocket tees and wanted to stick to just plain gray shirts, eventually drifting towards the thinner ones that allow for ones body to "breath" and lessen sweat/moisture buildup. I thought by doing this I was giving a silent tribute to him, but also providing for my own sort of style as well.

This leads into reason number two - personal style. I've never been one with the Abercrombie, Hollister, designer brand apparel. I've much preferred cheaper, more inexpensive clothing one can find at Wal-Mart or K-Mart. By wearing a plain gray shirt, and eventually converting to several different shades of gray sweatpants (IE: the "fifty shades" joke in the title), I felt I was creating a personal uniform of my own, akin to Mr. Rogers' cardigans, George Carlin's fondness for all black clothing, etc. This was my uniform and I wanted to own it.

The final reason is the symbolic reason, which some people may roll their eyes at. If you are an avid follower of me - or have the honor (or misfortune) of knowing me in person - you know that I watch and review films on a daily basis. I love doing it; it's my unofficial job. Being a film critic, you have to try your absolute hardest to have an open mind, although plot, directors, actors, etc have immense input in your early thoughts of the film. Within the last few years, I've had to see a number of films (mostly big budget films) out of obligation of being a critic and they weren't ones I particularly wanted to see.

However, I had to try my absolute hardest to remain neutral and impartial to past feelings and enter a film with an open mind. More often than not, I'm surprised with half the films I never wanted to see in theaters. According to the psychology of colors, gray is a neutral color - a mixture of black and white - to create a more "fence-sitting" color. I couldn't think of a better way to represent a lot of my political, social, and every-day opinions than by wearing a color that effectively represents where I stand more often than not - the fence.

So if you want the broad but concise reasons for why I wear gray there are personal admiration, a need for an individual style, and for the color's deeper central meaning. The final question you're probably asking is why did I choose to state these reasons on March 10th of all days. Why the day? Corey Haim, the actor who was the original motivation for the gray clothes, died four years ago today from pneumonia. I thought if anything I could pay tribute to him while revealing the answer to a question I've long been asked.

Now you have the answer and if it doesn't live up to your expectations or preconceived reasons, there's not much I can do. I can just thank you for your support and continue to #GrayUp as I've done for four years now. Whether you join me or not is your own prerogative.