"Elijah, Steven, Jakub, and I should have
crow’s feet and gray hairs. This film is a matter of one being too wise for
their emotional well-being, such emotions operating faster than the brain can
keep up with. I know no better way to make this film given the circumstance." - Miles Santiago
Finally, I'm proud to say that I'm Tired of God, the short film directed by my good friend Miles Santiago which features me in a small supporting role, is finally available to watch on Youtube, free of charge. For seven months, I'm Tired of God has been in production, with shooting largely taking place during August and September 2014, and after much promotion by me through the use of social media, one can now view it online.
First and foremost, I suggest you play it loud. The film is heavy on ambiance and natural sound, so playing it loud accentuates all the film has to offer. Secondly, don't forget to look at the scenery and admire the locational beauty, as well as listen to the dialog, as the film bears beautiful visuals of the remarkably unremarkable neighborhood where we all live. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the film is impressionistic and effectively plotless, meaning you're bringing to the table what you see in the film. Any kind of concrete moral, theme, or idea isn't readily established, and that's the film's biggest flaw but greatest attraction.
Essentially, that means I'm Tired of God can be anything you want it to be, so long as you provide some sort of evidence as to why you think the film represents this or that. To me, I see the film as an ode to isolationism and old souls. The film shows the banality of conversations, resulting from everyone spending a great deal of time by themselves and, in turn, having awkward and stunted conversations with the struggle to be meaningful. In turn, the film shows four individuals with emotional capacities far beyond what they can control, handle, or articulate, leading to a mental overload that spills onto the film quite nicely.
Consider the conversations had between people like Jakub and Miles or Elijah and Jakub in the film and take note of their awkwardness and the way they ebb and flow. For a film bent on naturalism, conversations in the film are so unnatural and forced, despite clear efforts by the characters to steer them in a manner away from that. It has nothing to do with the acting nor the techniques employed by Santiago - which, I can confirm, were incredibly meticulous and thoroughly mannered - and everything to do with the idea of isolation amongst individuals and the struggle to be understood when you can't begin understand yourself.
I've recently talked about "functional loneliness" to friends and acquaintances, remarking how people are going to start seeing a rise in depression, anxiety, and suicide amongst people of this (my, our) generation because of the fact that we know everybody but aren't close with anybody anymore. We hunger for some kind of thoughtful companionship, but internet and constant connectivity has strained such relationships to basic sentences that don't deliver any kind of meaning or sincerity. The "functional" element of the aforementioned loneliness comes in when one simply learns how to be in that current state, not openly being stressed and pressured, but metaphorically starved for conversation and connection.
After a pivotal and meaningful friendship of mine fell through this month, I'm Tired of God hit me like a Mack truck. It's a superb piece of work by the smartest, most thought-provoking writer I know.
Below are a few words from Santiago himself, as well as the link to view the film on Youtube. I'll be pushing this film all year long, not because I'm in it, but because it needs to be seen.
[....]
This project of mine began as Jakub,
Elijah, and I wanting to make a film more making a film’s sake. Literally, we
made this budgetless film merely because we knew we could. I beat into Elijah
and Jakub’s heads that this will be the best $0 film ever made.
I’M
TIRED OF GOD was edited on a moderately powered PC (my brother would tell me
that that’s doing it wrong). I’ve never taken a course on film editing, the
cuts that I make are purely intuitive. The abrupt-yet-not-disruptive nature of
my editing is self-taught.
Because
I lack sophisticated sound equipment, the microphone was the camera’s. the
editing process begins with removing the static noise. Thenceforth, I equalize
the frequency channels to favor vocals and alleviate the wetness of the sound.
Then I enhanced the voices with bass to alleviate the flatness. Whatever sounds
you hear in the film, the original sounds are significantly worse. The majority
and strain of the editing process was me rendering the isolated audio for every
take, editing it, and replacing the original audio.
Then
there’s the image; I don’t do things that I know I’m not the best at. The only
things I manipulated in the image are brightness and contrast and the RGB key,
not a single frame has a tint or filter over it. I sought a color palette that
would distinct me from other amateur projects, one lacking the warmth and pedestrian
lighting I usually encounter.
For
the (shockingly) seven-month span it took to make this film, it only dawned
upon me that the shots were lonely and alienating when Elijah pointed it out to
me a month into shooting. And he was right; no one was visible in the scene
besides the actors despite all of the buildings and vehicles within them. My
reclusiveness had spilled onto the frame.
Elijah’s
comment compelled me to turn the project desolate. I began shorting clouds
religiously. I probably have as much footage of cloud coverage as I have of the
actors if not more. If there was ever a dark storm cloud casting a blanket over
a jovial blue sky, or puffy clouds parting to invite whatever the audience
would impose upon it, you could count on me to be outside with my camera. Why
make a film with God in its name if you don’t have the window to Him? If
Elijah’s here to introduce the notion of the Kingdom of God, I’m here to drown
the audience into empathy by appealing to their emotional senses rather than
their rational ones.
This
film was supposed to have five actors and a jollier mood. Given the logistics
we possessed, we weren’t afforded opportunity to explore a series of events
beyond our apartments and immediate vicinity. We knew we had so much
capability, such a keen sense of manipulating the mood of the audiences, yet
our money could take us no further than plotless reminiscing and strenuous
scenic work. Our ambition painfully exceeded what our situation had given us. I’m
psychologically tired of my obsession over understanding and legacy. I’m tired
of God.
Elijah,
Steven, Jakub, and I should have crow’s feet and gray hairs. This film is a
matter of one being too wise for their emotional well-being, such emotions
operating faster than the brain can keep up with. I know no better way to make
this film given the circumstance.
This film will primarily be used for
resume purposes. I seek no monetary or popularity gain, only philosophical
credence." - Miles Santiago
[....]
View the film on Youtube at the following link, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWE6afe8PeY
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